I need to be reminded that my ass is attached to my body otherwise I might forget it :(

It’s funny how counter movements tend to be escalatory in nature.

So recently the #womenaginstfeminism movement came to the attention of the internet, as a collection of statements from mainly women who feel threatened by or dismissive of feminism.

In response the folks behind feminist podcast Wait, Wut? are making #needthepatriachy a thing, as can be seen in this album on their facebook page.

Some of my favourites:

#needthepatriachy because “there’s a hole in my heart that can only be filled with unsolicited dick pictures” FUCKING. YES.

#Needthepatriachy because “Hoards of feminists break into my room and steal my bras for kindling. Shit’s expensive” Well who hasn’t been there.

#needthepatriachy because “feminism made me hate men and now I can’t stop punching my dad. WHY CAN’T I STOP PUNCHING MY DAD?” DADDY FORGIVE ME

Well, after perusing the album I got thinking. When was the last time I acknowledged everything the patriarchy does for me? Time for credit where credit’s due.

After much careful consideration I realised:

I #needthepatriachy because if I felt welcome on the weight floor of the gym, I’d embarrass myself by heading straight for the pretty pink weights.

I #needthepatriachy because if it weren’t for our education minister Christopher Pyne I’d have no idea what to study at uni.

I #needthepatriachy because if I didn’t have aged male politicians telling me how my reproductive system works, I could NEVER work it out on my own. Medical science degree notwithstanding.

I #needthepatriachy because if my looks weren’t worth 95% of my worth as a young woman I’d have to be really, really good at something to be worth talking to. Who has time for that?

I #needthepatriachy because if I wasn’t compelled to spend all that time shaving off my body hair I would go mad from the boredom.

I #needthepatriachy because having a baby is a stressful experience, and worrying about whether I have a job to go back to after I come off maternity leave is great practice.

I #needthepatriachy because my dastardly man–deceiving make up use must be kept in check. Of course it’s reasonable to assume that I look the same way all dolled up under night club lighting 24/7!

I #needthepatriachy because it’s so much simpler to assume everything a man does for me must be repaid in sexual favours.

I #needthepatriachy because if skimpy clothes aren’t a sign of being DTF, how else am I going to pick up?

I #needthepatriachy because ditto drinking too much! Feminists and their pussy blocking…

I #needthepatriachy because thinking that a man would ever want to be friends with my F cups would be thinking way too highly of myself.

I #needthepatriachy because dehumanising everyone who is obviously from a different culture or religion is crucial to our national identity –otherwise we might forget where we live.

I #needthepatriachy because everyone knows, a feminist can’t catch a man!

#fuckmysoul

 

How do YOU need the patriarchy in your life?

That wasn’t a rhetorical question. Comment below if you feel inclined. I’m sure yours will be funnier.

#getmeafuckingdrink

Oh by the way, a friend from uni once ran through the campus women’s collective meeting wearing a shirt that said “you can’t catch a man.” He found out that not only can they catch a man, they can kick him pretty hard too.

Mac

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I’m screwed

I’ve been lying in bed for a week.

I haven’t been going to work or class. I had an assignment due today. Can’t even care.

I possibly wouldn’t have eaten all week if I didn’t have my boyfriend and housemates feeding me.

I feel like I should be crying more but it’s happening in short bursts. I can lie here mulling over my devastation – nothing. Then burst into a violent sobbing fit while on the toilet, or in the shower, or while playing candy crush. It never lasts for more than a minute

I guess you have to feel in order to cry.

I was forced to feel a lot of things last week and it sucked balls. My brain has gone into survival mode and has suppressed all of my emotions. If I hide from the world then I won’t be made to feel out of turn. Foolproof.

I’m not fishing for sympathy or attention, there’s no spin on this. This is just reality as it’s happening. How emotional can you get over someone who just stares at the ceiling all day?

I will probably get up soon. I’m craving something. As soon as I figure out what food group it belongs to, I’ll be up searching.

At least I think it’s a food. You can’t eat love and validation, can you?

Didn’t think so.

Mac