merry christmas

Mac’s Christmas Favourites

Mac the Disordered Uncategorized , , , , , ,

Christmas isn’t as triggering for me as some, but it does tend to be an general overload on the senses.  When I’m feeling overwhelmed to the point that I can’t even open my mouth because I know my barely verbal 12 year old self will come out, I take solace in these cult Christmas classic tunes.

 

  1. Mean girls – the jingle bell rock dance

Ok if you were a kid in the 2000s you know you tried to learn this dance, guys and girls.  And maybe still do it in front of the mirror after too much moscato.  You may have even performed it at a talent show like these babes did.

 

2.  The school concert in Love Actually

This moment where little Sam gets his chance to impress Marceline the vampire queen Joanna by learning the drums so he can perform with her before she moves to the USA is the only part of the film I remember clearly, even though I watch it every year.  That and a twerking prime minister.

 

3.  The Tweenies – I believe in Christmas

SHUT UP SHUT UP THAT’S MY CHILDHOOD YOU’RE LAUGHING AT!

Ok it’s hardly a cult classic but this song makes me happy, all right? Don’t judge me.

 

4.  The Glee Cast – You’re a mean one, Mr Grinch

I suppose it’s not exactly joyful as such.  But it’s sung by K.D Lang and Matthew Morrison.  They make me joyful.

This song is fun to listen to, not just musically but for the lyrics, with the last line being the cherry on the top of the linguistic glory:

“You’re a three-decker sauerkraut And toadstool sandwich with arsenic sauce!”

How can you not freaking ADORE that?

 

5.  Team four star: 12 Days of Abridgemas

It’s a dragonball Z themed 12 days of Christmas parody of course, which pertains to Team four star’s abridged dragonball z parody series more than dragonball z but would still be relatable.  Although if you’re a fan of DBZ and haven’t heard of Team Four Star, WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH YOUR LIFE?

AND A DESK OF MAHOGANNNNEEEEEEYYYY

 

6.  Yamcha the scarfaced bandit

Another parody by one of the creaters of Team Four Star, to the tune of Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer.  Basically it’s a song that sends up Yamcha, the most hard done by character in the show.  You don’t have to follow Team Four Star to appreciate that.

 

7.  Futurama – Santa claus is gunning you dowwwwwwn!

MERRY X-MAS EVERYONE!

❤

 

Mac

51 Things that Mac really wants for Christmas

Mac the Disordered Uncategorized , , ,

Because I’m pretty sure I’m getting a doona set.

This article is a response Elite Daily’s article 51 things a single 25 year old single girl really wants for Christmas.

Ms Martin, I regret to inform you that this ache in your soul that can only be soothed with a hefty dose of body positivity and addressing those dependency issues.  If you bring a man into the mix right now you’re just going to create a host of new problems, take it from someone who knows.

You want a ‘man to blow my mind and a suppressed appetite to fit into those jeans you should have bought me instead.’  Speak for yourself, missy.

These are the 51 things this 25 year old really wants for christmas.  However note that I don’t disagree with her on all counts:

  1. My 12 year old ability to feel refreshed on three hours sleep
  2. Dudes who message me wanting to hook up to be both upfront and polite
  3. To feel comfortable wearing ass hugging pants
  4. MOAR money, less effort
  5. For my mother to not act like my adventure time t shirts are the sole reason I’m failing at life
  6. Netflix.  In Australia.  Yeah its coming but will it be without limitations?  Doubtful!
  7. To not be made to feel more disposable with age
  8. Acohol that makes my ex boyfriends grovel to me more often
  9. More travel
  10. Appreciation for my sparkling porcelain complexion instead of being shamed as ‘pasty.’  Why glow when you can sparkle, amirite.
  11. Being able to feel bad about how that dick from high school died of rapid ALS
  12. To be able to unfollow my 14 year old cousin on instagram so I could stop being unnerved by the borderline soft core lesbian porn she seems to think it’s cute to re-enact with her friends.  So not worth the drama though.
  13. Guilt and consequence free sex with that dickhead ex-lover who was amazing in bed
  14. For shanking street harassers to be legal
  15. To have the pelvic strength to fire blood clots ping-pong balls at people who don’t unserstand why my periods make me miss work/school/parties/sport.  It’s called endometriosis, assholes.  Look it up.
  16. Pain free tattoos
  17. For people to stop trying to make ‘superfoods’ happen.
  18. For people to stop asking me to like fanpages for their dogs.
  19. To be able to eat a nutritous balanced diet by only eating cake
  20. For my married friends to not turn into the pillar of relationship knowledge as soon as they have a ring on their finger.
  21. No writer’s block
  22. Guilt free torrenting
  23. To be able to change my hair colour at will
  24. For my boyfriend to respond to my efforts to teach him massage skills
  25. To wear scene hair without worrying whether or not I’m too old for it
  26. To be able to work through my angst by belting out related songs glee-style
  27. For my grandmother’s dementia to go away
  28. Neck down alopecia, not because I buy into letting porn stars direct my hair styles but because the horrors of the sudden intense itch prompted by being stabbed in the labia by a rogue pube which only ever happens in a public place is a situstion I’d really rather not deal with ever again
  29. Not crying and fainting every time I have those regular blood tests I’ve been having for years
  30. A blog following like Amanda bynes on twitter to appreciate my crazy
  31. That rubix cube hand bag I saw at supernova 2011 and didn’t buy for some reason and haven’t been able to track down
  32. A jumping castle bed
  33. For my man to be able to grow a luscious ginger beard
  34. Unlimited travel sounds good actually…
  35. Being able to attend One Direction concerts a) without shame and b) with a 2 metre personal space bubble that repels crazy twelvies
  36. Bacon every day
  37. Relationships without WORK
  38. One week where carbs didn’t make it impossible to poop
  39. cheese that goes to my boobs
  40. All the guac in the world
  41. All the moscato in the world
  42. Culinary skills
  43. Green juice without the work
  44. Squats without pain
  45. Heels that don’t wreck your feet
  46. To undo the damage 10 years of caffeine addiction has done my bladder
  47. Hair that is both naturally voluminous and flippy
  48. Being able to apply winged eyeliner and false eyelashes without a freaking meltdown
  49. To be able to transform into either a sailor scout or a super saiyan
  50. A spacious home like mum and dad’s without the decades of hard work to afford it
  51. A swimming pool sized spa bath

Merry Christmas

Mac