I started antabuse the other night and have been sober ever since of course.  Starting this drug is naturally a huge deal.  I went into it thinking I could go off and on it so I could drink on special occasions but that won’t be happening.  By taking this you commit to at least six months of sobriety.  Most scripts last three months, this one lasts a year.

The potential side effects of this drug are so serious that my doctor made me sign a contract stating that she had explained the seriousness of it all to me.  So what are these potential side effects?

According to DailyMed,

“Disulfiram plus alcohol, even small amounts, produce flushing, throbbing in head and neck, throbbing headache, respiratory difficulty, nausea, copious vomiting, sweating, thirst, chest pain, palpitation, dyspnea, hyperventilation, tachycardia, hypotension, syncope, marked uneasiness, weakness, vertigo, blurred vision, and confusion. In severe reactions there may be respiratory depression, cardiovascular collapse, arrhythmias, myocardial infarction, acute congestive heart failure, unconsciousness, convulsions, and death”

So.  This drug can kill you.

All the websites I’ve looked at recommend not taking it less than 12 hours after drinking but my doctor said 48.  She also said if I wanted to stop taking it it would be a week before I would be safe to drink but I found some websites that said two.  If and when I do decide to go off it I will wait two weeks just to be safe.

I received the script on Thursday but, as I had been drinking the night before I was unable to start that night.  The pharmacy I go to for my scripts is a bit of a drive away so I wanted to make sure they had it before I went and got it.  When I was talking to my psychologist about going on it she told me that antabuse is fairly rare and they probably wouldn’t have it sitting on their shelves.  So I figured I could call them that day, and if they didn’t have it, I could get them to order it in by the time I was headed that way the next day, and could start it that night.

I called them, and they did in fact have it.  They said they would reserve it for me, not something I was aware I could do at the pharmacy.  Clearly there are a few problem drinkers in that area.

When I went to pick up the antabuse the pharmacist said “now I don’t know if you’ve been warned but if you drink on this you’ll get all the effects of a hangover without the fun part beforehand.”  Well that sounds positively tame compared to what I found above doesn’t it?  I told him I understood and I paid for it.  And oh my god it was expensive – $79.99 for…I’m not sure how much is in there actually.  It’s either one months’ worth or three months’ worth.  So it’s not on the PBS.  Pea thinks that’s because the government wants to make up all the alcohol tax they’re losing from the sober problem drinkers.

I started taking it that night, with my nightly seroquel.  Pea thought it would be funny to lick one of my tablets then have a beer.  I was a bit worried about him, but he had no bad effects come of that.

I’ve been taking it for three days now and I feel fine.  I do have a morbid curiosity every time Pea opens a beer wondering if I should take a sip just to see what happens.  But I’ve been told by enough people that would be a bad idea – mum tells me I will want to die.  My psychologist told me about one of her patients who started drinking on antabuse and after only one beer was so violently ill he need to go to hospital by ambulance.

I’m aware that I haven’t talked much about my problematic drinking on this blog (they don’t like to label people as alcoholics anymore) and that’s mainly because I don’t know what to say.  I don’t know when and how it started, I don’t know why I do it and I don’t know how this will affect me long term.  Being in hospital didn’t help, it just dried me out for a little while then I was back at it again.

I had a blood test yesterday to make sure I haven’t damaged myself with all this irresponsible drinking.  I had one in hospital and I was fine but I’ve been doing it heavy since then.  I won’t find out the results until later this week.

Not drinking for five days hasn’t caused me significant distress, ok I cried the first day but only because I had a crutch and now it has been taken away.  I wasn’t experiencing any dependency symptoms apart from that withdrawal episode I had last Tuesday but nothing like that has happened since then.  Antabuse is a prick of a way to get sober because the control is taken away from you.

But I was out of control before.

Mac